Fresh on the heels of the winter celebrations and midnight romance on New Year’s, Valentine’s Day is another holiday that emphasizes togetherness. Feb. 14 finds restaurants packed with couples and flower shops overflowing with customers, serving as a reminder that’s tough to ignore for anyone feeling alone.
But experts say that coping with the “holiday blues” can be as easy as keeping your expectations reasonable this year. Be clear about what is really important to you. If your special occasions don’t play out like a Hollywood B movie, that’s ok. Family gatherings and holidays like Valentine’s Day are not always perfect or reflect a “Kodak” moment.
Does multi-tasking wear you out as you juggle work, cleaning the house and walking the dog? Set aside time for rest and relaxation during the holiday season and all year long.
Don’t punish yourself on goals not met, especially if you had no control of those outcomes. Avoid dwelling on past failures, losses or disappointments. If you find yourself focusing on unpleasant thoughts, refocus yourself to think about positive things and push yourself to pleasurable or relaxing activities such as walking or visiting with supportive family and friends.
Lonely, Depressed…Got the Holiday Blues
If you are hopeless, alone and maybe depressed or suicidal -making it difficult to shake this year’s holiday blues - contact The Samaritans of Rhode Island, a nonprofit program dedicated to reducing the occurrence of suicide by reaching out to the despairing and lonely.
Denise Panichas, serving as The Samaritan’s interim executive director, notes that the communications-based charity, established in Providence in 1977, teaches volunteers to effectively listen to people who are in crisis. Conversations are free, confidential and, most importantly, anonymous.
A rigorous training program teaches volunteers to feel and think without expressing personal judgments or opinions. Panichas explains that the listening techniques, referred to as befriending, calls for 90 percent listening and 10 percent talking.
Last year, more than 5,000 Rhode Islanders called The Samaritans, many of whom are daily supported callers who reach out to the agency because family, friends and professionals are not available to listen.
“It doesn’t matter what the problem is, be it depression, suicidal thoughts, seeking resources for mental health services in the community or just being lonely and needing to talk,” Panichas said.
The Samaritans also offers support to caregivers and to older Rhode Islanders.
“We do community education programs and also have our peer-to-peer Safe Place Support Group for those left behind by suicide,” she said.
The agency’s 39-page Web site also has information on suicide prevention and links to more than 60 international, national, state and local resources.
Lastly, the agency wants everyone to know that if it’s an emergency and someone is at immediate risk for suicide, then you should call R.I. Emergency 911 directly. But, if you can’t seem to shake the holiday blues or just need someone to talk who cares, call The Samaritans’ listening line at 401-272-4040. For more information, visit www.samaritansri.org.
Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.
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