Grandparents play a vital role in the development of a child, but some grandparents and their grandchildren are alienated from each other and denied a relationship. Thanks to a local group’s efforts, however, grandparents may soon have additional legal recourse for visitation rights.
Betty (not her real name) has been down a rocky road during the past several years. She has four adult children and four grandchildren. A few years ago, her and her husband’s relationship with their daughter soured. Since then, she’s struggled to be part of her grandchild’s life, sometimes going months without seeing or speaking to them.
“It’s just so sad that this is going on with so many families, it’s so sad,” said Betty. “You never, ever heard of this when I was growing up, everybody saw their grandparents growing up. When a grandchild is alienated from their grandparents, they’re also alienated from their whole extended family.”
Knowing that other grandparents were going through similar situations, she formed Rhode Island’s chapter of Alienated Grandparents Anonymous (AGA) in 2015, which provides information, monthly group meetings and support to grandparents who feel estranged from denied access to their grandchildren. She’s also sought legal council in her attempts to maintain her relationship, which has taken years and cost several thousand dollars.
Rhode Island provides few protections for grandparents in Betty’s situation. According to state law, upon petition for visitation rights with a grandchild and notice given to parents of the child, family court may grant reasonable visitation rights to a petitioning grandparent.
“When you’ve had a grandchild live with you at one point, and all of a sudden you can only see them for three hours once a month at a movie or Chuck E. Cheese, that’s not a relationship. That’s what happened to us,” said Betty.
In September, Betty provided testimony to state lawmakers of her travails through the court system, in which she was granted two to three hours a month with her grandchild. Now, new bills introduced to the General Assembly with Betty’s and the AGA’s backing seeks to strengthen those visitation rights.
“I’m doing this because I don’t think the law is strong enough as it stands now,” she said. “I also want other grandparents to not have to go through what we’ve went through.”
Two bills, Senate bill S383, sponsored by Senators Erin Lynch Prata, Frank Lombardi, Louis DiPalma, Stephen Archambault and William Conley, and House Bill H5903, sponsored by Representatives John Lombardi, David Coughlin, Joseph Solomon, Evan Shanley and Kenneth Mendonca, have recently been introduced and are now being considered. These initiatives seek to revise domestic relations and visitation rights laws. The acts would establish guidelines for family court to use to decide petitions for visitation by grandparents based on a “best interest of the grandchild” standard.
If passed, the legislation would require courts to look at relevant factors to establish visitations, including the amount of time the grandparents and child spent together, potential detriments and benefits to the child from granting visitation, effects of granting visitation on the parent-child relationship, and the nature of family relationships, amongst others.
On Tuesday, April 11 at 4 p.m., there will be a Senate Judiciary hearing at the State House in room 313 in which the committee will hear the bill and consider testimony. Betty and the AGA are now asking for the community’s support to help their efforts towards getting the bill passed.
“We want people to know that if they do want to come and testify they can tell their story. If they feel uncomfortable testifying, they can just come and show their support,” she said. “The really big thing we’re asking is for people to call their state senators and representatives and ask for their support.”
The AGA will hold their next meeting on April 10 at 1:30 p.m. at the Pilgrim Senior Center at 27 Pilgrim Parkway in Warwick, and any interested parties are welcome to attend. More information may also be obtained by writing to aga-ri@cox.net or by visiting www.aga-fl.org.
“I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for the children to have their family, that’s the most important thing and that’s what their missing out on,” said Betty. “You can’t get a childhood back when it’s gone.” ALIENATED
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falina
Interesting it doesn't say WHY "Betty" doesn't have a relationship with her daughter, and just what her role and responsibilities are in this story. Everyone seems to feel they have a "right" to something these days, without consequence for actions feelings or other's regards or consequence for their own poor choices.. Perhaps she was not the wonderful parent and grandparent she thought she was, perhaps she is unstable, abusive or has a substance problem, and her daughter was trying to do what is best for the child involved. Interesting that this seems to be a generational problem, namely the Baby Boomer generation, if the article is correct. Everyone has responsibilities and hassling people through legislation or the courts is not always the best answer., if not make the situation worse for all. "Betty" sounds as if she may have some issues with wanting to control. Just remember, as with every story there are three sides to every story: yours,, mine and the truth.
Thursday, April 6, 2017 Report this
davebarry109
Parents have the final say, not grandparents. When will this parental interference stop? Because you have a failed relationship you want to pass a law? Stop this nonsense.
Friday, April 7, 2017 Report this
falina
I would also like to add that families are comprised of many members, not just grandparents. There are siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents.... Will they want "rights" as well? Many families used to have "funny uncles" who were to be avoided at all cost! Just because a person had an ability to reproduce, does not mean they are a good person, as the recent DCYF horrors have shown us. As a last point, how are families and children ever expected to heal and move on with the threat of court interference every time a person feels they have "rights" because they didn't get their way or what they felt they were entitled to. The woman in the story has had four years of court interaction and is still, apparently, not happy with the outcome. Where does this end? It's quite ridiculous, and irrational.
Monday, April 10, 2017 Report this
Drew_Leventhal
What kind of person willing takes their kids to court? (Except maybe Donald Trump. Sounds like those kids were right to stay away
Monday, April 10, 2017 Report this